finally speechless

i don't have anything else to say
i feel like that's all im going to be able to tell him...
i have said it all

in bulletpoints even

i love you.
i am still in love with you.

what do i want?
i want to be naked next to you sometimes.
i want to hold hands
i want to kiss you without feeling strange
i want to make dinner with you a couple of nights a week
i want to be included in your plans

you told me the other day that you haven't read any of this because you can't
its easier to 'put your head down' and get through

it makes me sad.

you are letting me walk away

because eventually
if those things that i want are not somehow fulfilled
i will start to shut down
i will stop caring

you said
"i can't say anything about it..."

and you whispered
"but I don't want you to shut down"

but you don't reciprocate.
i am getting angry feeling like i am chasing you.

you say
in jest
"if you are still my girlfriend, you still have to take care of me"

and i say
in my head
"if you are still my girlfriend you have to take care of me"

so in an effort to avoid redundancy, i refrain from talking.

unless you give me something else to talk about.


Blogger k o w said...

take care of her, both of you

9:45 PM  
Blogger j said...


10:14 PM  
Blogger k o w said...

do you have my phone #?

9:36 AM  
Blogger j said...


12:51 PM  

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