dog whisperer

M is different.
and i feel sad for him.
every day when he puts his little feet on my leg, i say,

"i know little boy. i miss her too."

he looks at me as if to say

"what are we going to do?"

and i don't know what to tell him, except for that eventually he will be back with her and Im not so sure.

we went out tonight. for the first time in a few days where i was not crying.
JG said
"put on some makeup. you look like crap"
and i did.
and i felt better.
we went to dinner then out to a little place where i could have my Baily's in peace.
this girl walked in and the "im a lesbo too" thing happened and i got scared.
because she was cute
and as i was leaving i slowly turned around to look and she was staring at me.
i cried as i walked out.
i felt vulnerable and sad and lost.
she was beautiful
and it meant nothing to me
no butterflies
no
"...maybe"
nothing but lonely and sad.
and wishing i had my girl to hold.