deja vu

i wrote this on the other one almost 2 years ago to the day
as I said to someone today
"I am proud that I feel like I am walking the walk"


6.02.2004
....i have learned some pretty valuable lessons from some pretty amazing people.
this time it was my turn to teach myself that:
you must love people regardless of agenda.
you must remind yourself of it constantly.
and keep reminding yourself.
even when your agendas are the same
because someday
they will not be
and no matter how small or how great a variance, you will have to deal with it.
i reminded myself
often
and reminded myself that love=support in everything.
not just the stuff that I believe in or want.
so im ok.
and i am (in a melancholy sort of way)looking forward to living on my own again
and i am looking forward to the girl kicking ass.
in her game and her life.
where she is
where she is starting to create what i have here
and am so gifted with.
and i could not wish her any more love than that.
***********

note to my black book:
sometimes you have to get lost to figure out where you are going.

lost is my specialty.
i know.




.: posted by 11:56 AM
No comments

no sound

the silence is the sound of sorting through files.
updating 1.0 with 2.0
trying to remain composed even when i want to have a tantrum
shoving
and shoving
and shoving
trying to envision how i will do later
trying to decide if maybe he was right
maybe there are things that i need that are unavailable to me at this juncture

and apologizing for wanting them.

desire

all people want....
all anyone wants
is to have someone to tell them that everything is going to be ok
and to trust them enough to believe it